TopicHealing

I have spent the past 20 years as a counselor working with survivors of all kinds of violence.  I have listened to brutal details of atrocities that happen daily in all kinds of war zones. Too often, these war zones are right in people’s own homes and lives. What strikes me over and over again are some troubling polarities that are often imposed on victims about forgiveness, such as: Forgiveness...

The Messages Communicated to Child Abuse Victims As a trauma therapist, I hear daily how people’s spiritual beliefs can be a deep source of comfort and wisdom.  However, sadly, in some instances, spiritual beliefs and messages can actually reinforce the messages of child abusers and increase the self-blame and the pain of victims and survivors. Abused and neglected children, and sometimes even...

Choices of Strength and Healing Positions of Defeat To choose life. To consider death as an option. To have deep inner reasons to live. To simply exist or look to others for reasons to live. To find safety if suicidal feelings are not controllable. To look to others to magically stop suicidal feelings. To hunger for truth, despite the pain, for freedom. To run from truth and hope for healing...

Many ritual abuse survivors have no models for healthy relationships, parent-child, or between adults. Their world consists of only perpetrators and victims– people who abuse power, and their victims. The concept of reciprocally beneficial relationships, of people genuinely caring about the needs and feelings of others, and giving of themselves willingly, is foreign, unknown. In relationships...