| Choices of Strength and Healing |
Positions of Defeat |
| To choose life. |
To consider death as an option. |
| To have deep inner reasons to live. |
To simply exist or look to others for reasons to live. |
| To find safety if suicidal feelings are not controllable. |
To look to others to magically stop suicidal feelings. |
| To hunger for truth, despite the pain, for freedom. |
To run from truth and hope for healing without pain. |
| To take charge of one’s memory work. |
To delegate memory work to therapists or others. |
| To be a loving parent to one’s child parts. |
To seek an external caregiver for one’s child parts. |
| To be determined to love oneself. |
To give into feelings of unworthiness or defilement. |
| To defeat fear (except truly self-protective fear). |
To allow life choices to be fear-driven. |
| To defeat anger (except truly self-protective anger). |
To displace anger onto others or let inner parts do so. |
| To choose sex only in true, healthy relationships. |
To allow parts to sexually act out or be victimized. |
| To discover and process the trauma that causes parts to want to act out destructively or self-destructively. |
To allow parts to be destructive or self-destructive. |
| To be a thriver, to have an internal locus of control. |
To be a victim, to have an external locus of control. |
| To be the leader of one’s healing team. |
To want, expect, or demand that others lead. |
| To connect with others, to have close relationships. |
To isolate. |
| To be kind and considerate of helpers and loved ones. |
To relate to others as if they are not doing enough. |
| To be financially self-sufficient, or work toward this. |
To expect others to take responsibility for one’s life. |
| To lead. To have a mission to help others. |
To be childlike, to look for others to be caretakers. |
| Integration (or preserving a few co-conscious parts). |
To let dissociated parts take executive control. |
| To be spiritually centered. |
To have a weak spiritual foundation. |