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Spiritual and Psychological Resolution of the Pain and Torment of Having Abused or Killed While Victimized by Ritual Abuse and Mind Control.

By Ellen P. Lacter, Ph.D., August 5, 2003 (Updated January 26, 2005)

I. The pain and torment associated with abusing or killing others is often:

A. The greatest obstacle in personal healing and recovery. Many survivors "get stuck" in their journey toward healing because they cannot face that they have abused or killed others.

B. The most profound factor that prevents people from seeking freedom. The pain and torment of having abused or killed others is a profound factor in keeping people in the role of abuser/programmer, since to seek freedom includes having to face the full truth, including one's true feelings and conscience about having abused or killed.

II. There are many kinds of things that drive abuse/killing:

A. Programming, of many kinds, including:

1. Programmed parts unconscious to the host take over the body and fulfill program directives, driven by unconscious fear of horrendous abuse. These parts were generally forced through torture and threats of harm to others, in reality or through use of illusion, in rituals or laboratories, to harm or kill others, and now perceive themselves as still being painfully tortured and punished for any defiance of directives to harm or kill others.

2. Parts perceive themselves as deeply evil through programming, and perceive themselves as allied with the spiritually evil group or espionage group and its purposes. These parts are intentionally created through torture that continued until a part emerged who agreed to the agenda of the abuser group and proved this loyalty with acts of abuse, sacrifice, or murder. If a part did not comply, the torture continued until a personality was created that believed and proved itself completely loyal and servile to the abuser group.

3. Robot-like entities, who are non-human, not personalities, implanted in the internal world through trauma-based programming, and "powered" by spiritual evil that was attached, against the child's will, usually at a very young age (see H below)

B. Fear of consequences of not doing the abuse, sacrifice, or murder, including:

1. threats of harm or murder to loved ones

2. horrible torture/punishment for not doing it, including pain and terror of levels (and duration) incomprehensible by those who have not experienced such torture, with no option of death (though often wished-for), including programmed "catchers" to prevent suicide.

3. the horrible act will be done to the intended victim anyway, by someone, and the survivor knows this at the time, and this knowledge is involved in the "decision" to submit to the directive to abuse or kill.

C. Assuming an abusive, power-hungry personna, to be able to do the things one knows one must do anyway (due to the above), since one cannot commit these acts within the identity of the self, since these acts violate one's true self and conscience.

D. Displaced anger, revenge, finally released against the designated victim (often combined with the effects of programming and fear of consequences, above).

E. Identification with the aggressor (to defend against consciousness of feeling helpless and terrified).

F. A choice to embrace abusive power, temporary or more enduring, because being a victim has become unbearable.

(d, e, and f are a continuum of increasing anger and strivings for power to overcome fear and helplessness)

G. Torture of such intensity that an animalistic survival instinct takes over, and the person instinctually does what is necessary to survive.

H. Influence of spiritual evil (clearly a controversial subject):

1. Possession by foreign human spirits or fallen angels (demons) in the present.

2. Influence of foreign human spirits or fallen angels (demons) in the present.

3. Influence of foreign human spirits or fallen angels placed within the person early or earlier in life.

4. Spiritual abuse and programming that convinced specific personalities that part of their spirit is held captive by abusers, and that to not follow directives to abuse, or not assume the identity of an abuser, would cause death or living hell to the host.

5. Hexes and vexes currently influencing the self.

6. Curses, claims, covenants, etc., (usually early, can be later) having had a defining influence on the self.

I. Once a person kills, there is a sense of no turning back, of being forever trapped in irredeemable evil, of having sold one's soul to the devil. The main reason abuser groups force victims to kill is to bind them in this psychological and spiritual trap, to normalize killing.

III. Understand how each of these factors worked. Deeply explore the influences that drove your actions.

A. Explore how these factors (or others) psychologically and spiritually influenced your actions? Search for deep understanding of what happened. Ask, "what was going on inside of me?", vs. approaching this question with self-condemnation. There are answers. There is truth to be discovered. We are not born evil!

B. What was the psychological and spiritual long-term effect on you of having committed these acts? I.e., what was the cumulative effect of having abused or killed? Did this contribute to feeling increasingly trapped as bad?

C. What is the level of personal responsibility for each of the above influences? In some situations, the person has no responsibility. In other situations, some personalities have some responsibility. But in all cases, these responses are human, forgivable, and do not define the person as irredeemably evil!!

IV. Once self-understanding is achieved, then use this understanding to psychologically and spiritually resolve the pain of having done these things.

A. Embrace the truth. Embrace self-understanding vs. self-condemnation.

B. Work as hard as you can to defeat the factors that cause victim/survivors to abuse or kill:

1. Overcome the effects of mind control.

2. Triumph over fear-based and anger-based choices and living.

3. Spiritually prevail over all spiritual evil.

C. Strive toward a deep realization that beating oneself up cannot reverse the past, and that the wish to do so is based in child-like magical thinking. No amount of self-torment or self-torture today can change what happened yesterday. Neither can self-torment prove your goodness to yourself or to anyone else. You can let the self-torment go, and still be a good person!

D. Do not judge yourself from the perspective of others who have not lived through ritual abuse and mind control, and who may wish to believe they would never have committed these acts of abuse. It is only with a deep understanding of the effects of ritual abuse and mind control that one can grasp the complex forces that cause one to abuse. Those of us who have never been tortured have no right to judge the actions of those who have been tortured.

E. Prayer. Renounce one's self view as evil, etc. Refuse to succumb to what your abusers wanted you to believe.

F. Commit yourself to helping others heal, not in the service of self-punishment, but in the service of kindness, to self and others!

G. Help others with their torment of having abused or killed by being an example of self-forgiveness!!